Facebook Manifesto to Dominate the Canadian Marketplace (Parody)

It is our stated goal at Facebook to insert our platform into most if not all transactions that take place online. With more and more people using Buy and Sell groups and Facebook messenger make local transactions Facebook is well-positioned to dominate the online marketplace. We can't do this alone, we need 3 things to destroy any chance of local competition. Support from Municipalities, local businesses to send their traffic to our platform and buy ads, as well as local volunteers that will be buy and sell admins for free.

Support from Canadian Municipalities

Every Town and Municipality will need to promote Facebook on their website. They must include a prominent link to their Facebook page and keep the page updated with relevant local information. Municipalities must not show any partiality or support local Canadian based alternatives to Facebook Marketplace such as TownPost. Canadian Towns and Cities are only permitted to link to sites that are owned in the USA such as Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

Local Businesses must show allegiance to Facebook

Local Businesses must show their allegiance to Facebook through a variety of methods including (But not limited to) Facebook Logos/Pages on business cards, "Like us on Facebook" messages on their store fronts, telling customers to go to Facebook, and of course linking their business website to Facebook to push more traffic to our multi-billion dollar platform. For years we have encouraged businesses to buy ads to get "Likes", and now that they have made that initial investment we have changed our algorithm so those same businesses now have to pay to "boost" their ads so they can be shown to the audience they previously paid for. Business owners should not think long term about this strategy, rather they should continue to mindlessly pay to boost their posts and spend money on getting people to "like" and "comment" on their posts. Businesses should not worry their pretty little heads about the hazards of pumping money into a platform that will eventually replace them with online product placement.

Facebook Admins that work for Free

Facebook would like to thank every Buy and sell Group admin for building our Marketplace business. We will not be compensating you in any way and ask that our admins continue to commit hours of their day to keep our Marketplace clean, organized, and spam free. Facebook does not plan on giving any commission or compensation in the future and Facebook Marketplace reserves the right to change, take complete ownership, and profit off the hardwork of all the useful idiots that have made OUR buy and sell platform possible.

All proceeds from Facebook Ads in Canada will be sent across the border to the United States, an estimated 8 billion dollars was spent by Canadian advertisers last year and much of this revenue has been used to lower the jobless rate in the USA. Facebook insists that Canada's municipalities, businesses, and citizens continue to donate their jobs, advertising revenue, and valuable time to making Facebook the dominant online marketplace that will crush your local economies.

Our Marketplace team would kindly ask all residents local alternatives like TownPost that would seek to create any disruption in our stated goals.